On the road two meet

Hello
-- i am better
-- my chemotherapy is in its 3rd cycle
-- i am feeling extremely weak
-- but i am better

are you happy ?
-- yeah...that was unexpected
I am happy to hear you are happy

-- tell me one thing
-- why do we miss people, whom we love
-- is that negative?
-- what is love?
once there was a king named Calamity
whose country was conquered by a neighboring warlike king named brahmadatta
king calamity, after hiding with his wife and son for a time,
was captured but fortunately his son, the prince, could escape.
the prince tried to find some way of saving his father but in vain
on the day of his father's execution,

-- ok
the prince in disguise made his way into the execution ground where he could do nothing but watch in mortification the death of his ill-fated father.

-- ok
-- go on
the father noticed his son in the crowd and muttered as if talking to himself
"do not search for a long time; do not act hastily; resentment can be calmed only by forgetting it."
afterward, the prince sought after some way of revenge for a long time.

--
-- ok
at last he was employed as an attendant in the brahmadatta's palace and came to win the king's favors.
on a day when the kind went hunting

-- ok
the prince sought some opportunity for revenge
the prince was able to lead his master into a lonely place
and the king
being very weary
fell asleep with his head on the lap of the prince, so fully had he come to trust the prince

-- ok
-- ok
-- go on brother
the prince drew his dagger and placed it at the king's throat
but then hesitated
the words his father had expressed at the moment of his execution flashed into his mind
and although he tried again
he could not kill the king.
suddenly the king awoke and told the prince that he had had a bad dream
in which the son of king calamity was trying to kill him.
the prince, flourishing the dagger in his hand
hastily grasped the kind and
identifying himself as the son of king calamity
declared that the time had finally come for him to avenge his father

-- ok
-- ya
yet
he could not do so
and suddenly
he cast his dagger down and fell on his knees in front of the king.
when the king heard the prince's story and the final words of his father
he was very impressed and apologized to the prince
later
he restored the former kingdom to the prince
and their two countries came to live in friendship for a long time

the dying words of king calamity,
what do you think the moral of the story is ?
-- No need to ponder over the past
-- maybe
-- it brings regret and discontentment

"do not search for a long time" mean that resentment should not be cherished for long.
and "do not act hastily" means that friendship should not be broken hastily.
resentment can not be satisfied by resentment it can only be removed by forgetting it.
-- how is it related to love?

why do you miss ?
-- coz she's not with me

and you resent that
this is attachement
but no good can come of the attachment
if she were with you now, you would not resent her
you would not miss her
and your love would only be good
but since she is not with you
and you have not forgotten your attachment
you miss
and this causes suffering
so you must let the attachment go
and forget the resentment
-- ok

in the same way that the prince threw away the dagger
you must throw away your attachment
like the knife... it can only cause you pain

-- man , i miss her.... i try to overcome it ..but memories of the past ..
-- i try. i fail
failure is ok
think of the prince
he did not listen to his father's words
it was not until he failed first to listen
then to act
then to listen to the dream
of the man he would have killed
that he finally allowed himself to let go

it is only through failure that we learn
never do we learn from succeeeding
so failure is good
because it gives us a chance to learn and grow

-- i get it
so say to yourself

I have failed
and that makes me happy
because I have earned the right to learn from that failure
and I will never let myself feel bad when I fail
because I want to learn
and the only way to learn
is to fail

Does this help ?
-- i am pondering and uploading it into my memory

love is love
it, like all things is what it is
only we make it positive or negative

in ancient times they had 3 words for what we call love today
eros
philius
agape

-- penis
-- phallus
-- sorry
--
eros is physical intimicy

-- ok
philius is brotherly love, love of the family

-- does it include sex?
-- eros
-- ?
agape is emotional love

so there is
love of the body,
love of the family, and
love of the heart

buddhism teaches another kind of love,
lovingkindness who's result is compassion
-- ok

eros can also be called lust
-- lust is negative!
not necessarily
as with all things
only we can make something negative or positive
is a wolf negative ?
is a sheep positive ?

-- so
i have been quoted as saying that "true love" involves all 4

the love of someone's body and heart
which leads to family,
which requires great compassion
and lovingkindess to raise

-- why does love die out after marrige?
because it was not true love
like a boat that is not sealed
it will float for a time
but fill and sink


-- ok
-- i am learning
-- can u send me some buddhist book?
there is one more love that one must have before true love can be found

-- what's that?
loving yourself

-- loving myself?
-- is it hard
-- isnt it sans all those four parts?

true love does not start with the love for another
true love starts with the love of yourself
how can anyone love you if you do not love yourself ?